Some mornings I just sit here and miss you. And like today, I wonder, how?
How can I face another day without you?
The more I miss you, the deeper I get in this dark place called depression... day after day, and still, no one knows how far I fall..
June 28, 2015
So much has happened these past two weeks, much of which will be held only in my memory.
Today I am home.. This is where I feel secure... I feel my James here. I see him everywhere and I just don't want to leave here again until it's my time to "go on home".
I pray that when I do see him again, that we can have just a moment or maybe two, to verbally share our love together before finishing/completing our entrance into eternity.. That doesn't make sense, does it?
Father God, I want to be able to focus only on You when I enter eternity; I want to be totally in Your presence with no other distractions ever again.
Thank You for allowing me such an amazing husband and life here on earth...
I am blessed....
July 14, 2015
It's a quiet morning.. I'm thinking about my James....
I miss him so much and I still feel like I have no purpose.
Eachday comes and goes; I'm just "here" and that's all...
Tonight I packed away your clothes from our dresser. Then I unfolded, smelled, and refolded your t-shirts and put them back in our drawer.
When I hug them I feel like you are hugging me back.
I just can't let go..
I will always love you...
September 7, 2015
As I continue to go through thirty five years of love and memories, I find myself becoming more emotionally fragile. I'm over the edge now more than ever.
Oh, to feel my James's embrace; to hear his voice whispering to me that I will alright...
I miss him so much..
I love you babe...forever and always...
September 15, 2015
Today the UPS man asked about JT. He was so sad to hear of his death.
It amazes me just how many lives He touched..
I miss you JT....
September 21, 2015
I woke up sick this morning... missing my James; he always knew how to take care of me..
I continue to fill my days with "busyness"... It dulls the pain, at least for the moment.
But, when I am still.. It seems like yesterday that I saw my husband walk out our door for the very last time...
Monday, September 28, 2015
In just a few days I will be making my final move.. Out of my home where I shared my life with JT and into my cabin.. My home where I will live out the rest of my life on earth.
My feelings are in check; my memories go with me, rooted in my heart. My sadness lies in the fact that James is not here to share the cabin with me.
I miss him..
I love you babe....